feelslog

This is where I try to map my feelings to words. You might find these relatable, crazy, and/or just plain cringe. Regardless, read at your own peril -- or your own schadenfreude.

Latest Posts

Entry 107

Published on 2026-02-18 14:12:36 -0600 by hyperreal
Life has been feeling so weird lately with my irregular sleep patterns, lack of direction, and lack of motivation to find and stick with a direction. I don't kn...

Entry 106

Published on 2026-02-12 00:46:10 -0600 by hyperreal
I'm not going to get any less lonely by continuing to isolate myself. I'm just not ready to do a trial by fire, and to be honest I don't think I'll ever be.

Entry 105

Published on 2026-02-03 00:48:15 -0600 by hyperreal
Brain is being mean to me today. Not like I can hold it accountable. Am sleep-deprived. Will probably go to bed in an hour or so, I don't know. I've got to stop...

Entry 104

Published on 2026-01-28 06:26:33 -0600 by hyperreal
Had to take a clonazepam this morning at around 6 am. For the past few mornings I've had intense visceral anxiety. There's no reliable way to determine what tri...

Entry 103

Published on 2026-01-21 20:01:05 -0600 by hyperreal
Just woke up from phase four of sleep. Sad and scared. Maybe this coffee will perk me up somewhat, put an extra pep in my cognitive steps.

Entry 102

Published on 2026-01-20 23:29:49 -0600 by hyperreal
I suspect I'm going to be a spiced worm for a while yet.

Entry 101

Published on 2026-01-15 01:13:58 -0600 by hyperreal
I'm feeling irritable for some reason. It could be my disordered sleep schedule. It's not even a schedule because that word implies some kind of regularity. The...

Entry 100

Published on 2026-01-14 15:30:13 -0600 by hyperreal
Anxiety has spiked. My brain feels like it's everywhere simultaenously.

Entry 99

Published on 2026-01-08 07:17:30 -0600 by hyperreal
Anxiety and intrusive thoughts this morning. I haven't really been bothered by these OCD-shaped intrusive thoughts in a while. I don't know why I'm getting them...

Entry 98

Published on 2026-01-02 17:04:02 -0600 by hyperreal
I just received good news about the status of my disability benefits. The state of Illinois decided that I'm still eligible and that my disability benefits and ...