Entry 104

Had to take a clonazepam this morning at around 6 am. For the past few mornings I've had intense visceral anxiety. There's no reliable way to determine what triggers these spells in the morning. I just guess it's related to my irregular sleep rhythm, or my irregular sleep rhythm is one contributing factor. I've recently realized that speculating and brainstorming such possible cause-and-effect relationships is an exercise in futility. It's rarely if ever helpful. I should just focus on the present and deal with the symptoms.

Since yesterday, I've been somewhat less of a spiced worm. I feel my tech burnout is waning. I feel weird talking about a work-life balance, because I'm not employed in any official capacity where I'm required to dedicate a block of time solely to work. And as tech is one of my special interests, it kinda is my life, or a major part of it. My usual routine used to be that I'd wake up in the morning and work on tech-related tasks, with intermittent breaks in between, errand runs, and household chores. Then in the evening I would dedicate to playing video games. Since my sleep rhythm has been irregular lately, it's interefered with this routine. So there has been no consistent delineation between tech and video game times.

I'm still not sure how to get my sleep rhythm back in order. But I also wonder how people who live in far northern latitudes deal with sort of thing. Is irregular sleep rhythm disorder more common when there are six months of daylight and six months of darkness? Maybe their circadian rhythms are adapted to it?